Memories

Share your memories

Please feel free to share your memories and condolences. Some ideas might include your name, where you are from, and your relationship to David. All messages will be posted on this site within 24 hours. Please click the direct e-mail link below:

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Or, simply send an e-mail to:

outsidethefire@mac.com

-Message posted by Tracy Love:

Welcome to the website and enjoy!

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-Message posted by Patti A. Harp:

I worked with Dave Swinney for several years when I was with the Department of Psychology. When I think of Dave, I am reminded that he was the most generous soul on earth. He was giving of his time, his money, and his heart. For example, when I was in a fit of despair about my home renovation, he didn't hesitate to come over to my house and help remove paneling off the wall. He was concerned about the well-being of others and he always wanted to help fix whatever was wrong. He was devoted to his graduate students, especially Tracy Love whom he considered a very close friend, and to the departmental staff. For example, he was determined to see that I won the Betsy Faught Award so he submitted a file on my behalf two years in a row. I won the award the second year (he probably threatened the committee). After I got over the shock of being expected to give a speech, he helped me practice it.

Dave loved to laugh and was always willing to be the brunt of a joke. We could tease him about anything. One Halloween, nineteen of the staff dressed in “Dave” garb. (As you know, he had two uniforms: his daily uniform of a freshly laundered white shirt and denim jeans, and, on formal days he wore a navy blazer with a freshly laundered white shirt and denim jeans.) The entire staff dressed in either his daily or formal attire. The department was a buzz getting ready for Halloween. We were giddy about this because we knew he would love it. We fetched blue jeans for Hildegard (the only person on earth who didn’t own a pair of jeans), located and passed around white shirts, and glued on fake mustaches and chest hair. A few of us opted for the formal look -- navy blazer, shirt and jeans! Dave just loved it! For years, I would hear him sharing this story with his colleagues and visitors.

Dave Swinney was an extraordinarily honorable man. When he served as Chair, I observed him voice his opinion often in opposition to faculty within the department. Sometimes this created uncomfortable feelings, but I can attest to the fact that he never, ever, allowed these differences to affect his fair handling of an academic personnel file. If he were preparing a file for someone with whom there was a conflict, he would prepare the file with impeccable integrity.

Dave absolutely loved his work. Prior to holidays, many people would invite him to dine with them, but he would graciously thank them and decline the invitations. I would find out later that he spent the time working in his lab. His work gave him great joy and satisfaction. As Chair, he enjoyed shaping the department and made major improvements to the physical plant facilities in the McGill and Mandler Halls. When he came on board, he insisted the buildings were upgraded and brought into the current century. He arranged for major improvements to the conference rooms, the staff areas, and the mailroom.

The only thing Dave loved more than his work and friends was his wife, Emmanuelle, with whom he shared a marriage for several years.

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-Message posted by Tony Botticelli:

I was Dave's hair stylist for over eight years and as the saying goes, your hair stylist knows all. When Dave came in for a hair cut after his first surgery, I figured out what was going on. He didn't discuss with me what was happening, but the signs were there. I often offered to drive him home, but he would say: "Don't be silly, I'm fine. I'm just a little tired.”

I never heard Dave say an unkind word about anyone. At times he may have stumbled a bit, trying to find something nice to say, but he always found a way to make a positive comment even in the most trying of circumstances.

Dave had the best of two worlds. UCSD was one of Dave's worlds, and the other was his wife Emmanuelle, the most important person in his life. How lucky Dave was because he really lived his dream!

I consider myself a lucky man. Because of my job as a hair stylist, I often get to see sides of people that others don't. As you know, Dave was a very private man. He did not want to burden his friends with his challenges. What some of you don't know is how strong and courageous he was. A week or so before Dave passed, he shared with me for the first time that he was not ready to go - still not mentioning cancer. He was tired and weak, yet he declined a ride home.

Dave enjoyed life, his friends, his work, and especially Emmanuelle. I am really going to miss Dave. I have many gifts Dave left with me. I'll keep them close. I'm sure you have yours.

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-Message posted by Scott Calman:

I worked with Dave for 2 years and I found him to be one of the kindest and friendliest people I have ever worked with. He was very understanding of technical problems and never really got agitated when things were going horribly wrong. I am sure he is missed by his students and colleagues and I will miss him.

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-Message posted by Youlika K. Masry:

Always in jeans. Always smiling. Always eager to help. Loving to see the good in others. Loving his work at UCSD. And above all, loving his wife Emmanuelle –in his own words “the best thing that has ever happened to me and that I could have ever expected from life”. This was David Swinney, my next door neighbor from the Fall of ’99 till the Summer of 2002, when I moved out of the country.

A gentleman and a gentle man, David Swinney had generously offered me his advice on finances, computer perplexities, or their inflatable mattress to sleep on during the last night of my stay in La Jolla, after my staff had been picked up by the movers. “Don’t be silly” was his favorite expression to dispel any reluctance on my part to express a need or confess to a weakness. And then he would laugh, a soft, delightful laughter that made one feel welcome to the heart of one of the most honorable and altruistic men in the world.

Learning of David’s death came as a shock to me who knew not of his illness beforehand (David was a very private person) and have always known him to be healthy and full of vigor, enjoying life to the utmost. “He died at home, in my arms”, Emmanuelle told me over the phone and that got me thinking: love is certainly the most important thing in life. But it is also a sine qua non for dying. For, as King Solomon wrote:

“love is strong as death”
(Song of Songs 8:6)

And David Swinney not only loved his wife Emmanuelle with all his heart and soul but was also loved by her in the same way. So much did she love him that she could bear ‘let him go’.

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-Message posted by Sarah Callahan:

"How ya doin' kiddo? Everything okay?" Those were Dave's first words to me every day I saw him. He probably said the same thing to many of you. He called everyone kiddo. And I think it was because we were all his kids. When I first came to the department, one of the staff members asked me who I was working with. When I told them it was Dave Swinney, they said "Oh, you're lucky- he really takes care of his students." Nothing could have been more true. But what they didn't say was that Dave took care of everyone. Since Dave passed, many people around the department have shared with me their memories of him. And what has struck me is that all the stories are different. Everyone has a personal story of a time when Dave went out of his way for them. I hope they all share them here.

I don't have any particular stand-out story to tell, just three years of little kindnesses which is actually a much greater feat. And little memories that sound silly when you tell them, but which have great meaning to me. Once, during my first year, I accidentally sent Dave a blank email. He wrote back to say "Sarah- I need more information!". I have saved that email for years now and it still makes me laugh to think of it.

Dave and I had these weekly meetings where we would supposedly work out design issues on our latest project. But more often, we would digress into rambling discussions about big-picture issues or pie-in-the-sky projects. In fact, we actually ran quite a few of those studies- we both had a bit of the dreamer in us. When Dave got really excited about something his eyes would twinkle- although I more often saw this enthusiasm when some new computer gadget had arrived. I'd come into his office and he'd be bent over a box ripping and tearing like a kid on Christmas.

Dave was my advisor, but more than that he was my mentor- always will be. And not just in the academic sense. Whenever I am confronted with a tough decision or feel my natural impatience rising, I ask myself what Dave would do or say. And then I try to follow the path of loving kindness that my heart tells me he would have chosen. If I succeed even half as often as he did, I will be a far better person.

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-Message posted by Sarah Erline:

To share my memories of Dave is not to tell about one specific day or event, but rather years of working with him. I remember his jeans and button up shirts, his love for coffee and his inability to learn to cook a bagel without burning it. I remember that despite his genius he could never fully understand that no matter how loudly he spoke, Tracy could not hear him through walls. I remember so many things about him but what stands out the most is his giving nature, his genius, his beautiful spirit and his contagious smile. He was a wonderful man who will forever be missed and remembered.